Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What Do Politics and Love Have In Common?

It is the political time of year! There are ads that tell you how wonderful one candidate is and how terrible their opponent is. Everything is drawn in very black and white terms. I suppose this is all right if you are trying to get people to vote for you. But let me tell you, in family, love and friendship, all or nothing thinking is not very helpful.

The problem is this. If I think I am right, and you think you are right, then we are just going to argue. Neither one of us is going to compromise or be flexible. In this point of view, we have decided that there is only one right way. This is simply not true. There are many right ways to do things, not just one. I work with couples all the time to help them improve their communication. You wouldn't believe (or maybe you would) how many couples or families fight over how to put the dishes in the dishwasher! Is there just one way to do this? Of course not. I say to these couples, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?" Unfortunately, some people just want to be right.

In the musical "Of Thee I Sing,"  presidential candidate John Wintergreen is running on the platform of love. He makes a promise to marry the winner of a beauty pageant. Unfortunately, he falls for someone else and marries her instead. She makes really good corn muffins. He still wins the Presidency because who can vote against love? Well, chaos ensues. The beauty pageant winner whom he jilted sues him for breach of promise. The Senate votes to impeach him. The Supreme Court decides in his favor because corn muffins are more important than justice. Seriously. Luckily, President Wintergreen is good at compromise. It turns out that when the President can't perform his duties, they fall to the Vice-President. The jilted beauty pageant winner marries the VP and all is well.

In California, we have been having a terrible time getting politicians to agree or compromise. Our state budget is a mess. Like I said, that's how politics goes. But personal relationships are different. They have to be. If you want to have healthy relationships, work on finding the middle ground. You and your loved ones will be happier.

By the way, "Of Thee I Sing" was written by George and Ira Gershwin and, in 1932, was the first musical to win the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. It's a great satire about politics.



Of Thee I Sing (1952 Revival Cast) CD

3 comments:

  1. Angela - You definitely know what you are talking about on both of these fronts! Everyone needs to learn the art of compromise:) Thanks for the lesson!

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  2. Angela,
    You are so right. There are times that I want to be right...I even know that I am right, but so does my wife. So, I just think does it really matter who is wrong or right. Do I want to have this feeling inside of getting aggravated? It is not usually worth it. I agree by telling her she is right, and then it is over. But it was a hard lesson to learn.

    Jaden

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  3. Jaden, I know that I get caught in this trap as well. I tell my husband that there is no right and wrong, and then I say, "I am right!" It is a joke but not really, if you know what I mean.

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