What, Me Worry?

The funniest thing happened in church about a month ago. It was my daughter's birthday and the tradition is that the congregation sings Happy Birthday to the birthday person if their birthday falls on that exact Sunday. Well, I was really looking forward to this. It doesn't happen very often. I made sure she was in the church Sanctuary at just the right time. I even left the choir loft to go find her. So I am sure you can guess what happened. The pastor did not have the congregation sing. I was sitting in the choir loft wondering if I should somehow signal the pastor. Or maybe I could get my husband to remind the pastor. (My husband is the choir director at our church.) I was so busy trying to figure out how to make this happen that I could barely pay attention to the songs, prayers and sermon.

Does this ever happen to you? Do  you worry and worry and try to control things to get them to turn out exactly as you want? I do, much too often.

This is not a recipe for good mental health. I often tell people that we have to relinquish attachment to the outcome. This is a Buddhist philosophy, I believe. The idea is to do the best you can at your task and then let the rest go. I am not in charge of all that happens. This is both a relief and a disappointment, but in the long run, I think it's more of a relief. I can let go of the weight of always being in charge. What a good idea! I think we should all try it.

One thing I use to help me relax is meditation.  If you are new to this idea and would like to try a breath meditation, just click on my store and you can download an audio breath meditation for free. Let me know what you think.

Don't Let A Monkey Take Over Your Mind

I went for my morning walk and chanced to come upon a garage sale. There were some bookcases there for a good price so I asked the seller to hold them for me until I finished my walk. As soon as I walked away to continue my exercise I started worrying that she would sell them before I got back. Maybe I wasn't clear enough that I really wanted them. I wasn't sure what to do. It was a little early to call my husband because I didn't want the phone to wake my daughter. I worried and worried and then finally decided to call  my husband so he could go over and pay for them. On the way back from my walk I could see a strange man looking at the bookcases. I started to worry that someone else was buying them before I could. I hurried to get back to the garage sale.

Here's the weird thing. I didn't even know I wanted these  bookcases until just that morning. I had been perfectly happy walking along looking at the ducks and rabbits and Joshua trees. All of a sudden I got in a tizzy. My mind started going round and round and worrying over something that wasn't even that important.

I like to call this Monkey Mind. This is not an original name. I understand that it is a Buddhist concept. In her book "The Energy of Money," Maria Nemeth describes Monkey Mind as "a criticizing aspect of our mind that swings us from doubt, to worry, and back to doubt." So Monkey Mind made me think that these bookcases were absolutley crucial to my happiness. I was going to be very upset if we didn't get them. This is crazy. I was making myself upset over something that wasn't really even that important.

I imagine that I'm not the only one who does this. In fact, I'm sure of this. Way back somewhere between AD 55 and AD 135 the Greek philosopher Epictetus said, "People are not disturbed by things but by the view they take of them." This means then, that what affects your mind and emotions is not what happens to you, but how you interpret what happens to you. I started to think I was going to be deprived of the bookcases. I interpreted this to be a very bad thing and so I became upset and worried.

The funny thing is that the man who I saw looking at the bookcases was actually part of the garage sale. He was helping my husband load the bookcases into the car. I guess I will have to talk about making assumptions sometime.

I have included this rendition of "Monkey In The Mango Tree" sung by Ricardo Montalban because it is funny and a little twist on Monkey Mind. The monkeys decide they are insulted by being compared to humans and at the end say, "Don't identify yourself with me." This song is from the musical "Jamaica."


The Monkey In the Mango Tree

Count Your Blessings (Instead of Sheep)

I heard Eddie Fisher singing on the radio today. They were honoring him because he died yesterday.  He was a famous singer, husband to Debbie Reynolds and father of Carrie Fisher of Star Wars fame. He was singing the song that Irving Berlin wrote called "Counting your Blessings."  What a great song! It is also great advice if you want to stop worrying. How many blessings do you have in your life that you can count?

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

If you really have trouble sleeping, try the sleep meditation audio download in my store.





Eddie Fisher - Greatest Hits
The Fabulous Fifties: Unforgettable Fifties (3 CD Set)
White Christmas (Anniversary Edition)
Holiday Inn & White Christmas - O.S.T.